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Post by Lith on Dec 11, 2023 18:16:54 GMT -6
Log 1. Date: April 1st, 11:00am
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of– What did he call this thing? -sounds of shuffling paper- I swear if it was something about his dick… Oh, here we go; the Now You See Me Now You Don’t. Hm, clever. Every so often he reminds me that we’re actually the same guy. Anyway, derivative opening to placate my own nerdy desires: check. Next up, mission background. -coughing, the sound of hands clapping together- After seven years of tinkering with this gift from a tights-wearing version of myself from another dimension, I finally made a breakthrough with the engine that will allow me to traverse maybe not the DEPTHS of space, but the shallow end of the kiddie pool that is our local system. Apparently that’s quite the accomplishment since, according to my alternate self, my universe’s balance between science and mysticism is “all out of whack man”. He also mentioned how this universe is rather empty compared to others he’s been to, and he doesn’t know why I’m bothering with space travel anyway. Honestly, a vast unknown sounds far FAR more interesting to what seems to be the galactic Vegas from which he hails. After all, isn’t all about the journey not the destination? To be the one to cross the wasteland and discover secrets no one has ever dreamed of? Well get ready space, here comes Enigma!
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Log 4. Date: May 17th, 2:34pm
Space fucking sucks.
Log 4.0.1. Date: May 17th, 2:34.36pm
Sorry, sorry, that was unprofessional of me. Space, my darling, you don’t fucking suck. Because sucking would be interesting. It would be a thing that was happening. Sure, in the literal sense it would probably mean a black hole, but at least that’s exciting! I don’t know, maybe I was a bit too optimistic, but hell, even though I wouldn’t describe my luck as “good” things at least HAPPEN to me. The last month and a half has been nothing but the most basic of radio signals whispering in the dark. It’s… lonely. -twenty two seconds of silence follows- Maybe I’ll visit Jupiter’s moons. Pick up a microbe or two… At least it’d be company.
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Enigma sat half asleep with his legs crossed haphazardly on the instrument panel before him. If it wasn’t for the digital clock slowly blinking in front of him, he’d have lost track of time long ago. So far his ‘grand’ space expedition had amounted to various pictures of planets, a couple rocks, some ice, recordings of microwaves, and a whole lot of wasted time. Saturn, Jupiter, and their satellites had yielded nothing, but at least he was looking forward to making a ‘probing Uranus’ joke within the next few days. The highlight of his voyage. Haha. Butts. Enigma slowly brought his head up to look out the window, although he didn’t know why. It had always been the same thing; stars, inky blackness, the occasional planet, and… Wait. Enigma leapt up from his seat and stared harder to just off the starboard side of his ship. There was… something. That was the only word to come into Enigma’s mind as he looked out at the anomaly. It was as if the universe had made a mistake, a hiccup, and space was desperately trying to create something that made sense to fix it but failing. Enigma scrambled to the instrument panel and began changing course as quickly as he could, as well as bringing his ship to a standstill. He then whirled around and hit the record button on the dashboard. ‘Log 89’ lit up on the screen before him and a red light began pulsing.
“I got something! I don’t know what it is but I got it! It’s December 21st, 8:56 am, currently 5.23 AU from Saturn on trajectory to Uranus and there’s some sort of… I don’t know, not a black hole, but something similar, visible from the Now You See Me Now You Don’t’s cockpit. Scanners indicate…,” Enigma stopped for a moment, observing the ship’s sensors and noticing something strange. Nothing. The ship wasn’t processing what he was seeing at all. Enigma felt his breath catch in his throat. Was he going insane? Space madness was a thing right? Sure he felt bored, but he never felt like he was going CRAZY. With a slow, almost fearful flick of his wrist, he turned on his ship’s video recording device and let loose a sigh of relief. The anomaly was being recorded, although the camera could only represent it as a black blob on the screen. “Scanners indicate nothing, which is… weird. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist. And I really can’t describe what I’m looking at either. Dammit, first interesting thing to happen to me in months and I can’t even use mouth words right.”
As the Now You See Me Now You Don’t approached the anomaly, Enigma realized something; it wasn’t getting any bigger. It simply… changed? A chill ran down Enigmas spine, something wasn’t right about this. About any of this. Space was enormous, unfathomably enormous. This was a thing that couldn’t be picked up by sensory devices and he just HAPPENED to look up at the right moment and see it? See something in infinity? His life revolved around games of chance, around randomness, he knew impossibility when he saw it. No, this isn’t right, it’s not–
A sense of curiosity suddenly overcame Enigma the longer he looked at it. A small voice in the back of his head whispered, “Come closer.”
“Pause recording and prepare for space walk,” Enigma felt himself say. “If I can’t science it from in here, may as well try from out there.”
---
Enigma shook his head from inside his space suit. What was he doing? The last thing he had a grasp on was questioning probability. Chances. And now he was here, staring into impossibility itself. Almost robotically, he pressed a button on his wrist and a small red light began glowing, “Since all attempts at using technology have failed to establish just what this thing is, I’ve decided to use more straightforward methods. Get closer and poke it with a stick.”
Poke it with a stick? What in the world? As much as Enigma loved poking things with sticks in most scientific situations he had enough common sense to know that THIS was not the time to do such a thing. After all, he didn’t even HAVE a stick to poke it wi-, “Scratch that, no stick, I’m gonna poke it.”
Enigma screamed inside his own head. Poke it?! POKE IT?!
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” the small yet deafening voice in the back of his head said.
Enigma reached forward, the mass twisting, turning, bleeding, being, hearing, warping, ending, beginning, whying, howing-
PAIN. Enigma reeled back, suddenly back to his senses. His hand! His hand had been torn clean off his arm! Enigma grasped his wrist, desperately trying to keep air from escaping his suit when he realized something. His hand was still there. “W-what?” Enigma stuttered. He could have sworn he had just lost a limb. He still felt it. No, it was deeper than physical pain, it was something more. The pain was so unbearable that it took him a moment to notice a spectral cord drifting from his not-so-severed hand. Enigma eyes drifted upward, following the string until it ended in… His hand? At least a ghostly mass that resembled his hand. He wanted to reach out, to pull it back, to say, “Hey that’s mine”, but it was being pulled toward the anomaly, tightening the cord that connected him to it.
Snap
And just like that, it vanished. His ghost hand, the anomaly, the pain, all gone in an instant. And She was there.
She was a girl no more than fifteen in an elaborate purple, black, and gold outfit that invoked both a harlequin and a Venetian carnival reveler. What little skin showed was pure white, and her eyes… Her eyes like pitch black holes in reality. “Heya!” She shouted happily, tumbling through zero gravity without a care in the world.
“... Hi,” responded Enigma.
“Wait a moment,” he thought. “I can hear her. I can hear her in SPACE. Is it telepathy? No, her mouth moved and I HEARD her.”
“Impossible…” he whispered
“What’s impossible?” asked the girl mid twirl.
“I shouldn’t be able to hear you. I mean, there are a couple things that shouldn’t be happening but I DEFINITELY shouldn’t be hearing you”
The girl's black eyes widened, and then mouthed something with a confused shrug. Enigma blinked, “Could you uh, repeat that?”
Her mouth moved but no sound came out, but Enigma was able to read her lips this time.
“Sorry, din’t’ know I couldn’t”
Enigma at this point had lost all fears and worries that had plagued him before. He was fascinated, and his scientific mind was whirling with possibilities. “Can you speak so I can hear you again?”
She shook her head, gave an exaggerated frown, and mouthed, “Nope, it’s impossible.”
“Can you still hear me?”
She nodded, a smile once again on her face.
“But you shouldn’t be able to…” Enigma said quietly to himself.
The girl drifted closer and mouthed, “I’m not?”
Enigma gave a start at her response, “How did you hear THAT?”
The girl held a hand to the side of her head and gave a perplexed look.
“Can… can you hear me?” Enigma asked
The girl continued to hold a hand to her ear.
“Fascinating!” Enigma thought, “It looks like as long as she doesn’t know something can’t be done, she can do it. It’s like she’s learning the rules of a game. She’s pure, untapped possibility!I”
Enigma held out his hand and gestured toward it. The girl paused for a moment, then took his hand in hers. With a couple bursts of air from his thrusters, Enigma led his strange new companion back to the ship, desperate for more answers. The ship door silently slid open and the pair entered the decompression chamber, the door closing behind them. With a loud hiss, air rushed into the room and the girl giggled as her clothes were blown about. Enigma removed his helmet, took a deep breath, and turned to the girl, “Well, usually what people do when they first meet is introduce themselves. I’m-”
“Enigma!” The girl shouted, “‘Course I know ya! You’re my pops, and I’M your Conundrum!”
Pops? Pops… Pops?!
And with that revelation, Enigma, greatest science guy on earth, knew there was only one other person he could go to for help. A family man, and SECOND greatest science guy on earth; god.
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Post by Moe on Dec 12, 2023 16:27:32 GMT -6
"This is stupid!" a young girl shouted, as she sat in front of a small pond and fountain that was meant for relaxing. She stood up in a huff and dusted herself off, pacing about in an attempt to let her anger subside. "I'm never going to find my stupid element! Maybe I don't even have an element! Maybe I'm plain and boring just like my mother!" she continued to rant, before stopping in place and wincing at what she'd said.
"Sorry, Mom. I meant my other mom." she said with a defeated sigh, before plopping back down on the soft grass.
"I know what you meant." Ikuki said with a soft smile, as she sat on the grass next to Tiffany. "And you have a gift. We just don't know what it is, yet. Stay positive, and keep trying. We'll get there."
"But we've tried every element!" Tiffany groaned, flopping backwards and laying on her back, watching the clouds go by. "Fire, water, air, earth, ice, nature, dark, light. I've even tried astral projection and dream surfing, like you and Dad! Even Luc and Oliver are starting to show magic abilities, and they're five. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't have a thing, so I think if I was special, I would've known it by now."
"You are, and you don't need magic to be special." Ikuki flopped down on the grass alongside her. "You're already working on your first suit, by yourself. And you've nearly mastered training, with your aunt. No magic required. You're smart, Tiffany. You're really, really smart."
"Please, go on." Tiffany smirked.
Ikuki gently fist-bumped Tiffany on the shoulder, in a joking manner. "What I'm saying is, you don't need magic to do amazing things. We'll keep trying if you want to, but I truly don't think you need it. You're able to adapt under any circumstances, and I think that's pretty amazing."
"It would be even more amazing if I could like, shoot lightning from my fingertips. Summon a demon or two, maybe. I dunno. Adaptability just doesn't seem all that special, when everyone else in my family has cool powers." Tiffany pouted, but didn't say anything more on the matter. Surely Ikuki was growing tiresome of her complaining, by now. "Sorry I'm such a bummer. I just thought something would've stuck, by now."
"Something will stick." Ikuki still smiled at her. "I didn't have any magic either, at your age. I was in my twenties, when I finally found my element."
"I know, I know. You've told me the story. You and Dad made some zombies."
"Technically, the book did. After it absorbed your dad's blood. I just read the words...and...raised every sentient being that's ever died, in all of history." Ikuki said with a nervous laugh. "I might've left that part out, but I think you're old enough to know the whole story. We also kept the book, if you ever wanted to try your hand at magic meant for the gods."
"At this point, why not? It's not gonna disappoint me any more than normal magic." Tiffany shrugged, trying to laugh it off.
"Or, and hear me out," a third voice spoke as he met the girls outside, with snacks, and sat on the grass between them. "How about we don't mess with a book that was written by the personification of good and evil?"
"Pfft. You're no fun." Tiffany said through a mouthful of sandwich. "Where's Lucian and Oliver? They're usually zipping around uncontrollably, when left unsupervised."
"I said that I would send them to spend a week with Uncle Argaen for every day they don't slow down and move at a normal pace." Mark responded.
"Who's that punishment for, though? Them or Argaen?" Ikuki joked, though Mark only shrugged in response, with a cheeky grin.
Mark leaned back, laying on the grass between the girls as they all three stared up at the sky. Something, however, didn't feel right. Mark's ears twitched as he stared at the clouds gently moving by; "Huh. I just suddenly got a really weird feeling. Like that feeling you get when you know something is about to happen, but you can't quite pinpoint what it could be."
"If only you were omniscient. Like some sort of god, or something." Tiffany joked.
"Nyeh." Mark stuck his tongue out, at the mere thought of it. "Knowing the future takes all the fun out of living in the present. I'd rather forfeit omniscience and just live in the moment. Whatever happens is gonna happen, good or bad. Either way, we'll deal with it like we've dealt with everything else. I'm actually kind of starting to enjoy the constant threats against my life. It's thrilling. Takes me back to my superhero days."
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Post by Lith on Dec 13, 2023 13:18:18 GMT -6
-One Month Later-
The aptly named Now You See Me Now You Don’t’s stealth capabilities were impeccable. It could move undetected through warzones, government airspaces, and UFO sighting conventions without disturbing a single sensor or tinfoil hat.
Enigma found this incredibly boring.
The sound of roaring engines filled the air of the suburbs, blades of grass whipped this way and that, the usually still pond rippled furiously. The Now You See Me Now You Don’t hurtled through sky, a streak of white and black, only slowing as it whipped around over the quiet community and came to a halt over Mark’s home. The ship gently lowered itself until it was no more than ten feet above the ground before finally going silent. With a hiss, a portion of the hull opened, rearranged itself into a staircase, and lowered itself to the ground. With arms outstretched, Enigma stepped out of his ship with a show of grandeur befitting his oh-so-humble persona.
“Gooood morning Kaiser City!” He shouted, walking down the stairs waving at no one in particular. Behind him followed Conundrum, imitating him with almost perfect cadence, a wide smile plastered on her face. As Enigma reached the ground he sidled over toward Mark, firing off finger guns the whole way.
“Mark! Buddy! Pal! It’s been too long!” Enigma exclaimed, throwing an arm around him, “How’s the family? Work goin’ well? Buddha any better after the divorce? You ever get that money back from Odin? Aphrodite still a gossip? Details man!”
Before Mark could respond, Enigma lowered his voice and whispered, “I heard about the new little ones, congrats by the way, but does Jesus know he has more step-siblings? You worried he might not think he’s the favorite anymore?”
Meanwhile, Conundrum had, quite literally, drifted away from Enigma and toward something that had caught her eye. Another teenage girl. “Hiya!” She exclaimed to her newfound friend, “I’m Conundrum and I like your pores!”
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Post by Moe on Dec 14, 2023 1:31:50 GMT -6
At first, the sounds of the engines and rush of wind could have been brushed off as one of the air security blimps getting a little too close, but no, the size didn't quite match up. Besides, those things never strayed into the suburbs of the city and instead lingered on the borders.
Ikuki and Tiffany had moved out of the way of the debris being kicked up, not realizing Mark had moved the space around the debris to form a clear bubble of sorts over them. He remained unmoving, staring up at the craft with an unamused expression. "And there it is." he sighed, as Enigma made his grand entrance. His companion, however, was someone he hadn't met before.
At first, he wanted to be annoyed at the comments. He still hadn't fully come to terms with himself, so who was he to say what religions were right or wrong, real or not? A few years ago, he would've said they were all just make-believe, feel-good stories. More recently, he would've said they were just figureheads. Mascots, of sorts. Now, he wasn't so sure what was real anymore. Instead, he just rolled with it. "Buddha really let himself go, I told Odin not to worry about it because I felt sorry for him, and Aphrodite has been spreading rumors that you wear anime girl sleep masks."
"Wait, I'm the oldest. Does that mean I'm Jesus?" Tiffany added.
"As far as your uncle is concerned, yes. Yes it does."
While the adults were conversing, Tiffany found herself distracted by...someone? Something about her seemed...odd. In a strangely delightful way. "Thanks?" she said, curiously. "I like your...eyes? They're like staring into an endless abyss. It's kinda metal. Hey, can you see the microscopic parasites that live on peoples' eyelashes?"
"Tiff!" Mark interrupted them. "That is weird and gross, you can't just ask people that!"
"What? Everyone has them!" Tiffany shrugged.
"Yeah, but now we all have to be aware of it!" Mark stuck his tongue out, not particularly wanting to think about it.
"I have no idea what it happening." Ikuki simply stood there with a confused grin. "Does anyone want snacks? I'm going to go inside and get more snacks. If anyone needs any dead to be raised or demons to be summoned, you know where I'm at."
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Post by Lith on Dec 14, 2023 20:59:53 GMT -6
Conundrum’s eyes widened with delight and clapped her hands together, “Now that you mention it, I absolutely can!” She quickly scanned around the yard before declaring, “You have the least amount and your mom has the most! Is there anything else I can see?”
Enigma, meanwhile, gave a hearty laugh and slapped Mark’s back, “It ain’t really a rumor if it’s true! Man I’ve missed ya, always great to have someone who’s witty enough to have a good riff with.”
With a deep sigh, Enigma’s voice took a slower, more genuine tone. “Wish it were under better circumstances. I’ve got something more… serious to talk to you about,” He said with a slight tilt of the head toward the two girls. The air about him quickly changed back to its usual energy as he called after Ikuki, “Mark and I will take our snacks inside, thank you very much! We have businessy business to discuss that would bore the younger ears.”
As he began leading Mark toward his own home, he gave a passing shout to Conundrum, “Oiii, do you have a favorite snack?”
“I dunno!” Conundrum yelled back.
“Yeah, figured as much,” Enigma sighed, then turned back to Ikuki. “Just bring out whatever Tiffany likes, I’m sure Conundrum will eat it.”
—
Sitting at the dining room table, Enigma began describing his recent adventure in space to Mark in great detail. At least until he arrived at the anomaly. Tossing various datapads and images across the table, Enigma threw up his hands in frustration. “See! All the scans came up with nothing! Nothing! The only thing that could even SLIGHTLY comprehend what was the cameras and even they only show big black blobs! I’m telling you, what I saw, it… it defied description! And not some tourist looking at a mountain going, ‘oh my gaawwd, it’s so beautiful words can’t do it justice!’. No; there’s color, atmospheric effects, weather, it can be quantified, but THIS. I don’t even know where to begin! It was paradoxical! Everything and nothing! It wasn’t just a WHAT, it…. It was a how! A why!”
Enigma’s rant continued as he described the rest of the story. His questioning of probabilities, the strange urge that had driven him to venture closer, his spectral hand and the pain associated with it, and finally, Conundrum herself. He talked in great length of his first moments with her, witnessing what she was capable of, her shifting nature with the laws of reality, and of her so-called ‘relationship’ with him.
“On the journey back I performed as many tests as I possibly could with what little supplies I had. She’s smart as a whip despite her innocent nature so she caught on pretty quickly about what I was doing, but she still cooperated with as much passion as… well me. I asked her questions about history and she knew about as much as an average person off the street: who’s the current governor, who was the first president, all that. Then I started asking her things about myself, you know, as a way to show her I can’t be her dad since she literally just sprang into being. But Mark… she KNEW things. My name, my bases, current experiments, she even insisted that I brought her along with me on this space journey and… the longer I’m around her the more I feel my memories… changing. I DO remember her being there, her asking to come along and me saying sure! Why not! Kids these days gotta do things with their dads! When I asked her about my own personal past she said, ‘I dunno, you don’t like to talk about your childhood’. That’s exactly what I would tell my kid if I had one! But more so than what she knows, I think you and I know that it’s what she’s capable of that’s even more compelling. After the talking in space incident I started testing her limits and… I don’t think she has any. She eats after she saw me eating, but I don’t think she digests since I’ve never seen her use the bathroom. When playing card games and games of chance she’d learn the rules, play a couple games, and then she’d begin winning. Always. Cards turned out in her favor every single time. So I told her part of playing a game is losing sometimes, it’s part of the fun, and then she began losing again.”
Enigma took a deep breath and sighed, sliding down in his seat. “Don’t worry, I haven’t asked her to do impossible things yet like creating something out of thin air or, even worse, destroying things, but I have so many questions that I think fall under your umbrella more than mine. What was the anomaly? What is she? What was up with my hand? Is…” Enigma paused, the question he wanted to ask was ‘Is she too dangerous to live’ but his whole being rejected it. It would be like asking to kill his own…
Enigma shook his head, “Is there anything that teenage girls like? Food-wise? Do I need to enroll her in school? How do I shoo off boys? And, if I AM her dad, how do I be a -cool- dad. Don’t worry, I’ll do the exact opposite of what you say just to be sure.”
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Post by Moe on Dec 15, 2023 19:32:05 GMT -6
"Implanted memories?" Mark said as he sipped on a coffee. "Sounds similar to some friends of mine. They were raised as twins, but one of them was a clone and they had artificial memories of growing up together. From what you've told me, it sounds like she's sort of a Schrodinger's paradoxical spatial anomaly, everywhere and nowhere all at once, and you opened the box. She's you, but not you. The cameras couldn't pick up anything because she's both existence and non-existence. But I have a feeling you already know all of this, by now. If you're coming to me for some kind of cosmic wisdom, you're out of luck." he leaned back in his chair with a shrug.
"I gave up omniscience a long time ago. I...almost ended up a paradox, too. Being able to see every reality, every timeline, every possible future. It drove me to insanity, so I decided I didn't want it. Live in the moment, y'know? What's the point of science if you're capable of knowing every outcome? I'm still human, though. I can still hold on to that. Her? I can't tell you if she was ever human to begin with. It's almost as if she's the personification of a paradox."
All the while they were talking, short bursts of air whooshed by on occasion, largely going ignored as Ikuki couldn't do anything about it and Mark had more important science things to discuss. Finally, it got annoying enough for him to slow time down around the boys causing them to slow down to normal speed. "I warned you both. One weekend at Uncle Argaen's!"
"Nooo..." one of the twins flopped down on the floor as though normal speed was dragging him down.
"Their house smells like church!" the other one protested as he fell over on top of his brother.
"Then save the zoomies for another day, unless you wanna make it two weekends." Mark warned them again, as he continued to casually sip on his coffee. "All that said, she is still a living entity, capable of making human connections and learning. I think maybe she should decide what she likes? Maybe a hard pass on school, though. I know from personal experience that kids can be royal jerks, and that could end...catastrophically."
Tiffany, meanwhile, was testing the limits of what her new friend was capable of. "See this? This is a jalapeno." she pointed at a pepper, "And this, is peanut butter. So we spread peanut butter on the sandwich like so, and then put the whole jalapeno on top. And there we go! A tasty leftover spaghetti and ice cream peanut butter jalapeno sandwich on raisin bread!"
Although the girls were in the kitchen and Mark was facing away from them, his ears twitched as he heard the latter part of Tiffany's sentence and very quickly turned around. "WAIT NO, DO NOT PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH."
"But Dad, it's for science!" Tiffany pouted.
"You know very well it is not!"
"You're right, it's not. But even without your future vision, you should've seen that coming. I'm disappointed in you." Tiffany said in a teasing tone.
Mark wanted to say something back, threaten to send her to her uncle's with her brothers, but honestly? It wouldn't do any good. In fact, she'd probably enjoy her time there, with her cousins. "You know, nobody ever warns you that when you have kids, they end up exactly like you. They'll tell you how cute it is that they're exactly like you, but nobody ever warns you."
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Post by Lith on Dec 16, 2023 0:44:08 GMT -6
Enigma frowned behind his mask; he honestly had been hoping for some of that cosmic wisdom to give him some definitive answers. He casually threw his hands in the air and shook his head, "Honestly would have done the same if I were you, no judgement at all, but I wish you kept at least a little nugget of God Brain. You know, as a treat."
As the boys zipped around the house Enigma wondered if he really could have made the same decision as Mark. Here is a man living in a quaint suburban home with a wife and children who argued, laughed, and lived like any other happy family; yet he had experienced things and made decisions that would break the spirit of just about anyone on earth. Godhood at his fingertips, and here he was grounding his kids for a weekend. "Funny," thought Enigma with a chuckle. "'Impossible' seems to be becoming a looser and looser concept by the day."
Enigma didn't know how right he was, for the blight on reality that was the leftover spaghetti and ice cream peanut butter jalapeno sandwich on raisin bread, which should never have existed in any sane universe let alone eaten, was making its way into Conundrum's mouth. Despite Mark's sudden and intense warning, Conundrum took an enormous bite, chewed happily, and swallowed. "A cacophony of flavor!" Conundrum exclaimed. "The biggest taste I've ever had befoa'!"
Handing the non-bitten side to Tiffany, she smiled and said, "Your turn!"
Enigma watched the whole exchange with delight as Marks words rang in his ear, "You know, nobody ever warns you that when you have kids, they end up exactly like you. They'll tell you how cute it is that they're exactly like you, but nobody ever warns you."
"Dang, stop giving good advice, you're gonna make me look bad," Enigma said with a laugh. "But hey, there's something else. You know how I mentioned not pushing her limits over the last month? Well, I know she's going to start test her limits sometime soon... because it's what I would do. I don't think... I HOPE she's not as powerful as I think she is. The question is, should I teach her how everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, works in the hopes it'll bring her down to normalcy? Or is that depriving her of powers that she was given?"
Enigma was quiet a moment. "And... do you think she has the capability of being a threat?"
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Post by Moe on Dec 16, 2023 12:00:14 GMT -6
"God brain isn't any different from regular brain." Mark said with a shrug. "Just because I've got dominion over all of time and space, doesn't mean I know how any of it works. Being able to just...do things without question, makes me feel inhuman. But learning how they work and being able to use them based on logic? That's the fun part! Humanity wouldn't be where it is today, if all we had were answers. It's the scientific journey, the thrill of discovery, the-TIFFANY DO NOT EAT THAT."
But it was too late. Tiffany had already taken a bite of the accursed sandwich. After all, what was science without a little self sacrifice here and there? She choked it down and gave Conundrum a thumb's up, indicating friendship had been achieved. "Sorry, Dad. It was for science! Actually, it wasn't all that bad." she laughed through tears of disgust.
"Okay maybe show her something that isn't food? And please ask your mom to send that thing back to the underworld where it belongs. I need to get Anubis back for banning me from the afterlife, anyway." he said as he immediately noticed the gears in Tiffany's head beginning to turn. "Something nice and safe and not disgusting or dangerous. Maybe introduce her to Spicy Nugget, or something."
"Pfft. Fiiiine." Tiffany obliged his request, and left the kitchen in favor of the living room, where their pet was sleeping peacefully on the sofa. "This is Spicy Nugget. She's old and kinda fat, but we still love her." she said as she held up the tiny velociraptor, who wasn't too pleased about being woken up, but was too lazy to do anything but yawn. "Dad went back to dinosaur times when I was a baby and stole her."
"I did not-! It was an accident!" Mark protested. "ANYWAY." he tried desperately to stay focused on both science, and making sure Tiffany didn't cause any sort of chaos with the cosmic entity currently residing in their home. "As I was saying, it should all be her choice. I think she's just as powerful or as weak as she wants to be, but she seems sentient so it should be her call whether or not she wants to be an all-powerful cosmic entity, or just a normal teenager. As for being a threat? Yeah. Of course she's capable. Everyone is capable of being a threat, to something or someone. I'm a threat to greedy corporate sleezebags, Spicy Nugget is a threat to tasty frozen mice,"
"I'm a threat to Ug'Nsok, demon lord of the fifth ring of Hell!" Ikuki piped in, from the living room.
"I am not going to ask, but you get what I'm saying." Mark stayed focused on Enigma and decided to not ask Ikuki to elaborate further. The wars she starts in Hell are her own business. "Sorry I can't offer more advice, but I don't really know any more than you do. All I can offer is how human nature works, and even then, I'm not sure if that applies to her. Though I have a question for you, now. Why did you really come here? This feels like a 'this meeting could've been an e-mail' sort of thing, so I've got a feeling there's a lot more going on than just wanting advice on how to raise a teenage alien paradox. Don't take that the wrong way, it's good to see you. I dont have too many friends stop by. I just can't shake the feeling that there's more to this."
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Post by Lith on Dec 19, 2023 13:08:50 GMT -6
“I’m talking a threat to reality, which is one or two steps removed from a threat to frozen mice. Maybe not Ug’Nsok, but then again, I only took demonology as an elective for my online college courses so I’m not as familiar with his line of work. She has so much possibility and… maybe I don’t feel like I can do this." Enigma took a deep breath before continuing, "Her fate, and the fate of so much more put into my hands because she thinks I’m her dad? I guess I came to the one person I know who has the family stuff down and knows ME well enough to say, ‘Oh yeah, you’re the man! Being a dad? Teaching morality to an infant paradox? Obviously you’ve got this.’”
Conundrum’s jaw dropped at the glorious sight that was Spicy Nugget. “She’s the most wondrous thing I’ve ever seen!” she exclaimed, “And you said your pop went back in time to get her? People can DO that?”
There was a glint, an impossible glint, in the inky blackness of her eyes. Without so much as a flicker, a dodo appeared in Conundrum’s arms. “Look! I went and found her twin! Maybe they can be friends! We can call him Mellow Nugget!”
Mellow Nugget, who just moments ago was enjoying a meal of nuts and fruit over two thousand years in the past, found his situation quite alarming and squawked in terror. “He’s sayin’ hello!” said Conundrum proudly. Lifting the bird into the air, she shouted across the room, “Hey pops! Look what I have! It’s Mellow Nugget!”
Enigma turned around and was immediately struck dumb by the sight of the dodo. Whipping his head back around to Mark he gestured wildly at Conundrum and her new pet, words failing to come out of his mouth for several seconds before sputtering, “THIS could have been an email?”
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Post by Moe on Dec 19, 2023 17:33:10 GMT -6
"Okay, I see where you're coming from. I just kind of have a track record of getting into terrible situations, so this would've been the last place I'd think you would bring her. I'm also not known for being...y'know...an optimist? At least that's what people tell me. I prefer to think I'm more of a realist." Mark sighed as he finished off his coffee and began looking through the sheets of data Enigma had spread across the table. "So, let's look at things realistically."
"She's clearly something incomprehensible with no limitations on what she can do. She mimics things without knowing what they are. A danger to reality? Yeah, sure. There's a lot of those. Heck, I'm one of them. But a threat? Probably too early to tell. She's got a childlike innocence about her, but treating her as a child is going to cause more of a threat than not doing so. It sounds like if she's told she's a child, then she'll see herself as one, and childlike imagination is only cute when it's not in a cosmic being of unfathomable power. It's going to be less like raising a child, and more like teaching someone how to be human."
The alarmed squawking caused Spicy Nugget to hiss and wriggle free of Tiffany, her feathers flaring angrily at this new avian intruder. She waddled over to Mark and squawked back, angrily.
"Okay. I see your point. Now that brings up more questions. First, did you know she could do that? Secondly, if you did know she was capable of it, why did you bring her here? If she knows what I'm capable of and can mimic everything I've done, then yes, she's absolutely a threat! I made a choice not to meddle in time and space, but she...might not see the danger in it." Mark looked back at the girls, Tiffany only giving him a shrug in response.
Mark took a moment to take in a deep breath, calming himself over the situation. "Look, raising kids is one thing. She's not a kid, though. I don't know what to tell you she is, but teaching her how to be human isn't going to be easy. I don't even know if it's right. I appreciate that I was the one you thought of first to come to for help, but if you had any inkling of her being capable of...that..." he pointed to terrified dodo. "Why risk bringing her to the single most dangerous place, possible?"
"Go easy on him, Mark." Ikuki leaned on the back of the sofa, peering over at them. "You've been in the same situation. You were basically the personification of anxiety, when you were learning how to get a handle on your powers. You had panic attacks, questioning the morality of every little thing you did."
"That's fair." Mark sighed. "It's still a struggle, but...I always had my family. If she sees you as family, then maybe that's good enough."
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Post by Lith on Dec 20, 2023 13:19:00 GMT -6
“Of course I had a feeling she could do something like that, that’s exactly WHY I… brought her…” Enigma trailed off, dots were connecting in his head. His head began jerking to and fro, hands and fingers moving an elaborate dance, pointing at things no one could see. Even though his mask hid his expression it was obvious something was worrying him. Slowly, he looked up at Mark, his voice filled with tangible fear, “Mark, you and I both know I’m smart enough not to do this. This is just like when I first saw the anomaly. I was… drawn to make the exact wrong decision, doing things no sane person would do. Something’s not right, it’s like I’ve been a puppet guided to do… to do something but I don’t know what. By her? She doesn’t seem capable of that, or at the very least unaware she’s doing it. How can I be-”
“Whatcha talkin’ about!” Conundrum popped up beside Enigma like a Jack-in-the-Box, causing him to nearly leap out of his seat.
Enigma grasped his chest, panting, but still managed to say, “Just business kid, boring business things. Nothing nearly as interesting as Mellow Nugget, who in no way seems terrified beyond comprehension. I’ll let you know when I’m done and we can head home; keep having fun with Tiffany, but I think we have enough nuggets for now, capiche?”
“Capiche!” Said Conundrum with a smile, skipping back to Tiffany. “Hey Tiff, what else can yer pops do!”
“Wait wait wait!” Enigma shouted, frantically waving his arms back and forth. “You’re supposed to ask friends about themselves first, it’s polite!”
“Oooooh, got it! Hear ya loud and clear! What can YOU do Tiffany?” asked Conundrum, squeezing Mellow Nugget so tight his eyes bulged, the strange twinkle in her eye returning.
Enigma slumped back and sighed, “Okay, I don’t have any clue what I should do anymore. I don’t even know if it’s me making these decisions. At this point it feels like I should just lock her and myself away in a cave somewhere but even then I don’t know if that’s me talking or I’m just being manipulated.”
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Post by Moe on Dec 20, 2023 18:55:26 GMT -6
"Whoah whoah hey, calm down. I know this probably doesn't mean anything coming from me, but panicking isn't going to help. I had a feeling something sketchy was going on, though I can't tell you for sure whether she's doing it on purpose or not. It does seem a little...too perfect. All we can really do right now is delay the inevitable. She's going to figure out what she's capable of, with or without help, and locking her away might just accelerate that process." Mark sighed, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed, anxiously tapping his fingers against his other arm.
"I have not had nearly enough caffeine today, to think about how to handle a living paradox." he mumbled to himself. "Just...don't blame yourself. I've done things that didn't feel like myself, too. You're not the only one who's been manipulated by an otherworldly cosmic force, so I guess maybe it's a good thing you came here. Maybe it was less manipulation and more subconscious? Maybe it was a little bit of both? Who knows. But if reality is going to stand a chance, we should probably start with the most important stuff. First, do you think it's safe for her to be around me? I can choose not to use my powers, but would she be able to influence me the way she's influenced you?"
"Uh, don't take that the wrong way. I just mean since she seems to be a part of you, somehow. Is she just attached to you, or do we need to worry about her making me do some time-space shenanigans? On the flip side, how much control do you think she has? If she believes I'm normal, would that strip me of power and cause time to cease existing entirely?" Panic started to set in as Mark began overthinking every possible scenario, realizing now just how dangerous the situation could possibly be. "Okay, I know I told you not to panic, but this might actually be an appropriate time to panic."
Tiffany just rolled her eyes at them. "I can't do anything special." she shrugged, in response to Conundrum. "Mom and Dad say I don't need to have superpowers or anything because I'm smart enough to be amazing without them," she thought about how she would continue that, without giving her new friend any ideas. Though she longed to be special like the rest of her family, she wasn't sure what Conundrum would do if she decided that Tiffany should have superpowers. "And I'm inclined to agree." she lied. "I'm working on a suit like Mom and Dad's. It's nothing too fancy since I'll outgrow it in a couple years anyway, but I can show you, if you want. HEY, DAD!" she turned around and shouted at Mark. "Can I take Conundrum into the science basement? There's nothing down there that would end the world, is it?"
"N...no? Just...y'know...my secret identity and life's work?" he answered.
"Okay, so nothing super important then." Tiffany said as she motioned for Conundrum to follow her to the basement door. "You can keep secrets, right? I'm sure you can. Everything down there is a secret, so you can't tell anyone. I mean, you literally can't tell anyone any of those secrets or else you'll explode and like, turn into a million spiders. Except for the stuff I'm working on. That's not a secret so you won't explode into spiders if you tell people about my work. Probably." she said with a devious grin.
Ikuki was generally silent through most of the science talk, not really wanting to get involved or interrupt, but even she could see the cause for concern at this point. "Should...should we separate them?"
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Post by Lith on Jan 8, 2024 13:05:28 GMT -6
“No no, I’m sure they’ll be fine,” said Enigma with a wave of his hand. “Then again, I’m not sure of anything anymore so who knows! Hey Conundrum, you won’t do anything dangerous with Tiffany right?”
“Nope!” exclaimed Conundrum, “She’s fun and if I break any a’ dose secrets I’m gonna explode into spiders!”
“See, explode into spiders,” said Enigma with all the weight it deserved.
As Conundrum followed Tiffany into the basement Enigma let himself slump forward in his chair, “Now that I think about it, even if we tried stripping her of her powers we might only strip away the parts of her that you have connection to, space and time, and then we’d just have an unrestrained paradox in the universe. That’d be like removing the event horizon from a black hole. A naked singularity. And THAT is for sure apocalyptic.”
Enigma let out a deep sigh, “I miss when things were simple. You know, like science collaborations, making matching T-shirts, merging worlds; nice job with that by the way, flawless work.”
Enigma paused. “Wait, what if it’s that easy? Merging through experience. Instead of hiding her away let her experience and see things, people, under supervision of course, and maybe she’ll end up NOT accidentally causing issues.”
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Post by Moe on Feb 18, 2024 17:55:52 GMT -6
"Things haven't been simple, for years." Mark sighed. "I can just lock my powers away until they're needed, just be human and not have to worry about the fate of the entire cosmos, y'know? I have a feeling it isn't going to be that easy with her, though. She's not human, so if she locks her powers away, what does that make her? What would happen to her? Would she just cease existing? The question of who's really in control is also going to be a big one. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're being driven to make terrible decisions, then it's going to be really hard to trust that you're...y'know. You."
"It's almost as if you need someone else's opinion." Ikuki weighed in, still lounging on the sofa. "Sorry. Didn't mean to butt in, again. But you do kind of know somebody who's more familiar with strange cosmic forces and primordial entities. Just sayin'."
"Oh no. No no no. I am not bringing him into this." Mark immediately shut down the idea. "He barely even remembers who he is now, yet alone anything about when he used to be god. I promised him I wouldn't bug him about godly advice."
"Even if the fate of the entire cosmos and multiverse was at stake?"
"I am just fated to be the jerk in every possible scenario to this, aren't I?" Mark groaned, leaning back in his seat.
"You're not a jerk." she said as she finally put herself in their conversation, leaving the sofa and sitting next to Mark. "I'm sure he'll understand and that he'll be thrilled that his grandson just wants to talk with him, even if it is for godly advice." she said as she leaned on him. "His grandfather is a robot, by the way." she said to Enigma. "Turns out Apollo was just god's consciousness stuffed into a big computer and had all his memories wiped. He's been remembering a few bits and details over the last few years, though, so if anyone is going to have any kind of advice on how to handle an unknown cosmic being, it's probably going to be him."
"Yeah, but I just don't wanna feel like the only reason I'm going to him for help is because he's ex-god, not because he's my grandfather. I'd feel less guilty if we just asked Dad. He's never around, so I don't feel bad about going to him, asking for advice, then just leaving."
"Your dad is kind of an idiot in this regard. No offense." Ikuki said, flatly.
"None taken." Mark sighed. "You're right, though. Even if Apollo doesn't remember anything, he'd still be more insightful than Dad. Only problem is, he's in Aeon right now, helping their new president or whatever rebuild the city. Welp, he's too far away so I guess that's out of the question."
Ikuki just responded by gently punching him on the shoulder and giving him a stern look.
"Okay, okay." he sighed. "If Enigma and Conundrum want to, we'll go see my robotic ex-god grandfather."
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Post by Lith on Mar 13, 2024 11:04:36 GMT -6
Enigma nodded slowly, hand on his chin, “A true Deus Ex Machina, sounds like the perfect literary device we need for this situation! Almost too perfect… No, no, can’t let myself go down that rabbit hole again.” With a clap of his hands, Enigma quickly rose to his feet, “Looks like we have some business in Aeon. Honestly always wanted to visit; see the sights, eat the food, test the boundaries of reality, all that junk, but business before pleasure I suppose.”
Enigma blasted a pair of finger guns at Ikuki.
“And thank YOU for the idea you stunning, perceptive, intelligent woman. Don’t know why I bother with this guy sometimes when you’re always right there next to him,” Enigma said with a not so subtle head tilt toward Mark. “He’s lucky to have ya, and you… well, no good deed goes unpunished I guess,” Enigma laughed. “Alright! Let’s collect my maybe baby and take a first class ride to meet grandpa.”
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